5 Ways To Increase Your Confidence On Stage
What is the first thing that strikes us when we see our favourite singers on stage? What is that thing they seem to have that draws us to them and makes us hang on every note and word they sing?
It’s their confidence. Their stage presence. They just look like they are meant to be up there on stage.
Sammy Davis Junior once joked, “I love performing so much that when I get up in the night, open the fridge and the light comes on - I do a song”
But we all get nervous. It’s normal and natural right? In fact if we didn’t get a little nervous we’d be wondering if we really cared enough. But when those nerves take a hold and we start to feel like they are ruining the enjoyment of singing and performing we need some strategies to keep them in check, so that we can give our best performance every time.
So here are five tips to help you nail your next performance. I’ve used them over and over in my own career and I know they work.
Tip #1 : Getting Your Mind In The Right Place
First of all, you want to ask yourself, “What is going on in my mind?” “What am I thinking and what are my feelings about the upcoming performance?”
The problem:
Sometimes we haven’t even noticed that we are unconsciously playing a negative movie in our minds about how it is going to go. Thinking thoughts like, “I hope the audience like me” and “I hope I don’t mess up” are actually reinforcing a negative experience, and what we rehearse in our minds is what we unwittingly make happen. Also, we won’t feel excited and fired up about rehearsing if we’re playing these movies in our heads.
The Fix:
Take some time even before you start rehearsing to play a positive movie. Find a quiet space and visualise yourself walking on stage and delivering your performance with confidence and style. Notice the audience smiling back at you and feel how it is going to feel in your body when you nail those high notes. Go into as much detail as you can, imagining the way it will feel in your body as you sing with confidence. Take five minutes every day to do this visualisation and it will transform the way you feel about performing.
Tip #2: Create The Scene
One of the best things you can do before you perform in front of an audience is to have rehearsed the song you are going to sing in a setting that is as similar as possible to the one you will encounter on the night.
The Problem:
Sometimes we rehearse our song in the shower, while doing the dishes or when sitting on the couch. On the night of the performance, when we stand up on the stage, there are so many things that can feel different and strange. Standing up for example can feel strange if you’ve become used to rehearsing while sitting down. Holding a mic in your hand can feel odd if you’ve been singing with your hands at your side. Even wearing high heeled shoes can throw you off, if you’ve been rehearsing in your socks on comfy carpet. When too many things feel strange we can have a hard time reliving what we rehearsed - because it doesn’t feel the same.
The Fix:
Find as many ways as you can to create the scene of the performance. If you’re using a mic, use one in rehearsal (even a hairbrush will do if you don’t have one). Wear the shoes you will wear on the night. Or even wear the outfit you will wear. If rehearsing with a band or accompanist, make sure you all face the front and set up the way you will on the night. There’s nothing more disconcerting than realising on the night that all the visual cues you used with your band mates in rehearsal are gone because you’ve been rehearsing in a circle. You can get really creative with this, pretending some closed curtains are the audience. A great tool is using friends and family to rehearse in front of. Many TED talk presenters perform their talk many, many times to friends and family just so that they know how it’s going to feel.
Tip #3 : Learn Your Material
If you’re going to perform a song live you really need to know so, so well. You need to learn it forwards, backwards, fast slow, in as many ways as you possibly can. You need to make sure that when you get up in front of an audience and the adrenaline is pumping and things are happening all around you, that you’re not going to go blank in the moment because you didn’t quite learn your lyrics or music well enough.
The problem:
Now, if you’re singing along to a song in the car, it’s easy to feel that you know the lyrics - that you’ve got this one down. But there is something that happens when we perform, the extra tension and nerves of being on stage that make the gaps in our knowledge apparent - at precisely the wrong time! In William Westney’s wonderful book, The Perfect Wrong Note, he explains how you need to learn a piece of music much more than you think you do to allow for this. He says that our conscious mind will often gloss over parts we haven’t quite understood, or internalised, thinking we’ve learned them. However in performance our subconscious mind will stand up and say" “ Hey, I’m not suite sure of this tricky part in the lyric” or “Does this verse come in on the first beat of the bar, or the off beat of the second beat?”
The Fix:
First of all, you can stress test your song by performing it in front of friends or family. Another way of stress testing is to record yourself, even if just in Garageband, your phone or something like a zoom H1 recorder. Even if you’re never going to play it to anyone there is a tension that appears when you hit that red record button that will throw up any parts you’re unsure of. The key is to be aware of your mistakes without judging them. To see them as clues to be followed and investigated rather than kinks to be forcefully ironed out.
Another way is find different ways to learn your lyrics. Mnemonists (those people who can remember phone books) use a technique of building two neural pathways to a thing they want to remember. I use a version of this when learning lyrics by learning the lyrics with the melody and then deconstructing the lyrics to find patterns like rhymes and the stories within a song. Take the song “I Say A Little Prayer For You” by Burt Bacharah for example. I would say, “What’s the story here?”
Verse 1
The moment I wake up
Before I put on my make up
I say a little prayer for you
Verse 2
While combing my hair now
And wondering what dress to wear now
I say a little prayer for you
This song is a great example of a well written song. The character, a girl, wakes up and thinks of her man. Then she’s at her dresser combing her hair and wondering what dress to wear. It’s so sequential and logical it’s easy to remember. If you visualise the scene of her starting her day you will have cues that will automatically give you the lyrics. The more you know the story of the song you’re singing, the easier it is to let the lyrics come in to your mind at just the right time. It sounds obvious but so many people sing a song they love but haven’t really taken the time to look at what the story is about in detail.
Tip #4 Take A Moment For Yourself
Tip number four is all about taking a moment for yourself and concentrating your mind, so that you really feel ready for the performance ahead.
The problem:
When you go to a theatre of the place you’re going to perform there’s usually a lot happening. People want to talk to you, the band want to ask you a question, your friends who have come to watch you want to say “Hi”. That’s great, but if you go on stage without taking a moment to clear your mind and get in the right space then you will feel flustered and scattered. Singing takes focus and a quiet mind and so it’s essential that you make at least five minutes for yourself to get in the zone.
The Fix:
It can sometimes be hard to make that time. I suggest you think ahead and plan for somewhere that you can go that is quiet just before the performance. A great way of getting in the zone is to do your warmups. Choose some gentle warmups that will connect you to your voice and quieten your mind. Breathing and meditation are great ways to quieten the mind. Dave Elitch, one of the worlds best drummers uses Sam Harris’ “Waking Up” meditation app before live performances.
Also, it’s not just before you go on stage. You can also take a beat while you’re on stage, just before you sing. Just before you give the nod to begin the tune to the pianist, or the band, take a breath for yourself and allow your thoughts to settle, allow your mind to relax and your body to feel centred.
Tip #5 Focus On The Story
Now, you’ve practiced, you’ve put your best outfit on, you’re ready to perform on stage and you want it to go really, really well - almost perfect. In fact, if it went perfectly you’d be so, so happy.
But we can’t focus on something being perfect. We can’t make perfect our goal.
Because, when you perform on stage, when you sing lyrics and music it is about connecting to the people in the audience and the story in the song.
The Problem:
Even though we want it to go really well and just as we’ve planned, if we focus on it being perfect, sometimes the connection to the story and the people we’re singing to can be lost. This is because our minds can become driven by one thing and that is; not making a mistake. Getting it exactly right.
But making it perfect isn’t always the greatest performance. Great performances come from the heart. Great performances come when we let ourselves go and really feel the words, music and emotions we are singing.
The Fix:
We want to connect with people - that is our goal. Focus on the story and what the song is about. Focus on the story of why we’ve come together, why people are here and let yourself go - that will be a great performance. You can also think of your own story and why you chose this song - is there some of your own story in it? Sometimes I tell my students to pretend you’re singing the song to one person and that you’re telling them a story because you need them to know something.
Conclusion
I hope you’ve enjoyed these tips and use them in your next performance. Don’t overwhelm yourself, just try one of them next time you perform and see how it makes you feel. The best way is to build them into your routine, little by little as habits, so that you’re always ready and prepared in a way that makes you feel great on stage.
Happy singing.
Helen